


Things we left in the past

by Caesar_salad



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Death, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Spies, every time its in italics its a flashback, fallingouts, i dont really know how to tag, sad Laf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 18:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11788710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caesar_salad/pseuds/Caesar_salad
Summary: "It was something about the man's eyes; the way they were filled with intent, a little cold, a little dead, but some semblance of life still danced in them, holding on for dear life.It struck Laf.It scared him. It comforted him, he had seen that look before, but Where?"Aka.spy au (I'm just bad at summaries)





	Things we left in the past

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emmiimmeme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmiimmeme/gifts).



> “I need to forget a ridiculous, childish idea that I could love someone, they could love me, and nothing else mattered.”  
> Hey :) :): ) :) :)  
> I really hope you like it!
> 
> All the things written in italics are flashback, hopefully it's not too confusing :)

**Cold wind bit at Lafayette's cheeks. The case file hadn't been lying when it said Russian winters were brutal, but he'd completed missions in the arid heat of the Sahara, so this was doable. Moscow wasn't all bad though, on the plus side, it wasn't France, and to Lafayette anywhere was better than France.**

**He let the chill of the air pull him from his thoughts as he shifted his jacket and felt the reassuring tap of his gun strapped to his side.  ‘Same job different place’ he reminded himself, taking a long drag of the frigid air. He put one foot in front of the other and started toward the embassy building.**

**He opened the door and walked into the lobby, taking in every inch of the room. It was protocol, basic training even, always be aware of your surroundings, and once everything was deemed safe let no distractions into your view. The longer you lingered the greater the chance of a compromised mission, but Lafayette let his eyes linger on the golden ornamental work on the ceiling.**

 

_ Gold so extravagant in its beauty as if King Midas himself had grazed his fingers across the ceiling.  It shined and sparkled in the light of the grand crystal chandelier that cast a dreamy glow on everything in the room, from chinaware and platinum flatware to the Powerheads and dignitaries that served as guests. Lavish was not the word for this ball, opulence was.  _

_ There was an air of familiarity to it all; Lafayette had grown up with such things. Balls and galas, tuxedos and elegant dresses were a way of life, and then it was all taken from him, and replaced with dimly lit rooms, shooting practice, survival missions, and brutal training. _ _   
_

_ None of that mattered though, a mission was a mission. Thoughts of the past only served as a distraction. Under the champagne light of the chandelier, Lafayette searched for his mark.  He had always been a more hands on kill kind of guy; a gun didn't do it for him. He needed the contact, a fight, something engaging. Everything else just felt like cheating.  _

_ But tonight in a room full of dignitaries and their bodyguards, he had to be careful and skillful.  The fewer casualties the better. To kill wasn't  enough. This hit had to be completed right under everyone's nose, even unbeknownst to the mark himself.  _

_ The gala door swung open and Lafayette locked his eyes on his target. A strong statuesque man paraded through the door. The man had a grandeur about him that captured the eye of everyone in the room, but Lafayette's eyes didn't land on the mark. They fell on the man beside him.  _ __   
_ It was like the room stopped.  All his training melted from his mind as he looked at the man; he was gorgeous.  _ _   
_ __ Lafayette knew better than to call it beauty struck; he was beyond that. He had seen all the beauty the world had to offer. This was something different. Something that spoke to a part of him, but what part? 

_ It was something about the man's eyes; the way they were filled with intent, a little cold, a little dead, but some semblance of life still danced in them, holding on for dear life. _ _   
_ _ It struck Laf.It scared him. It comforted him, he had seen that look before, but Where? _

_ Lafayette dropped the thought before moving in on the target, letting his training take over. He put his hand in his pocket, feeling for what he needed.  A cold metal band played at his fingertips, and he slipped it on, careful to mind the injection needle at the end. One prick was lethal, the mark would be dead within the hour.  _

_ He reached his target and lifted his hand clad with the silver band. His fingertips barely grazed the mark’s  tuxedo before A firm hand grasped his wrist, and if it weren't for him being in public all of Lafayette's training would have taken over. He snapped his head in the direction to find the gorgeous man with those deep dark brown eyes staring back at him; this time cold and steely and full of defiance. They spoke words of their own with just a glance. _

_ One that rebuked everything Lafayette was trying to do, but more importantly  _ **_knew_ ** _ what he was trying to do.  _

_ Lafayette pulled his hand away from the iron grip and slapped his hand down on the mark’s back before he could be stopped again. He played it off as a good natured greeting pat and walked away. The mark was good as dead, and it was best for him to not be there when the man collapsed. _

_ The cool air hit him as he walked out the back door of the venue. Fall in France had always been his favorite.  He walked down the block and pulled out a burner phone, texting the word:  _ DONE _ , before slamming the cheap phone on the ground and crushing it with his foot.  _

_ He heard the patter of quick footsteps behind him and felt his hand reach for the gun on his hip before he even fully processed what was happening. He turned to see the gorgeous man.  Under the street lamp, Lafayette had time to fully observe him, he was lean with boyish freckles and curly hair.  _

_ “Who do you work for?” The man yelled out in French that was laced with a thick American accent. _

_ Lafayette let out a laugh, “you ask such presumptuous questions,” he responded in English. _

_ "I don’t take kindly to people killing my mark.” _

_ Lafayette feigned surprise, “Who said anything about killing? A man can not pat another man on the shoulder anymore, Non?” _

_ "We both know within the hour the prime minister will be clutching his chest on the floor,” _

_ Lafayette gave a smirk before shrugging _

_ “At least give me your name so when I send a report back to headquarters, I can tell them who beat me to the punch” _

_ Lafayette kept the smile, but dropped the ignorant act, he found this all too amusing, “You know I cannot give you my name” _

_ “Give me something? Your code name?” _

_ “You tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.” _

_ “Deal,” _

_ They stared at each other, neither moving their hands from their gun. _

_ “You can call me Marquis” _

_ “Turtle” _

_ Lafayette let out a burst of  laughter, “Tourte?” _

_ The man rolled his eyes with a sigh, “I like turtles” he explained _

_ "I thought they call you that because it takes you so long to complete a kill,” _

 

**“Sir, Can we help you? ” One of the guards asked, bringing Lafayette's attention back to the task at hand. Without hesitation, he drew his gun, a silencer already attached to the barrel.**

**Split seconds passed before a sharp zipping sound of bullets leaving the barrel of the gun penetrated the air. The bullets hit both guards between the eyes. Lafayette stepped over the dead bodies and continued toward the elevator.**

 

_ It should have ended that night. A conversation with an agent from a rival agency rarely ended without a casualty. What they did next was virtually unheard of,  a night talk leading to a night spent together, and another night and another. Nights turning to weeks and weeks turning to months. _

_ The way that man made him feel was unprecedented for Lafayette. He felt whole, new. There was someone who understood. There was something to look forward to each and every day. In a life that was controlled by their agencies, they had this. It was discreet and precious. Laf put more energy into hiding their rendezvous than he had in any mission. If either agency found out about their trysts, they were as good as dead. _

_ Lafayette was sure he had found something he treasured more than love, trust. _

_ In a blink of an eye it had been a year, Lafayette let the moonlight hit him through the window as they lay together in bed. He could hear his love's heart beating hard and fast, and feel his smooth skin damp with perspiration. Both lay silent, catching their breath.  _

_ “John.” The man said, breaking the silence  _

_ “What?” It was only out of habit that Lafayette asked, and John knew it. They were trained to hear things once and remember it, store it, treasure it. _

_ There was a silence,  _

_ “John Laurens” _

_ “Lafayette” he replied back without skipping a beat. _

_ He was sure it was the most intimate thing he had ever done. It was deeper and held more meaning than 3 words ever could. _

 

**A bing rang through the air, and the chrome doors slid open. He pressed the button for floor 20 and stood with his head hung low in the left corner of the box. It was the only semi blind spot the elevator had.**

**A loud clank rang through the elevator as it started its journey.**

 

_ Loud and powerful like a torrent was a banging at the door.  It was where he and John were supposed to meet, but Lafayette knew this wasn't John. John usually only knocked twice.  _

_ Thoughts started to run through his mind at a rapid speed.  Was he compromised? His eyes shot to every possible exit, as he planned an escape. A pang of sadness ran through him, had John given him up? No, if someone wanted him dead, he would be dead by now. _

_ “Lafayette! Open up!” the voice was full of anger, and he froze. Who in the hell would know his name? He grabbed his gun and aimed it at the door, letting his finger rest on the trigger. _

_ “Shit, Alex!” a voice said on the other side of the door that was unequivocally John’s.  Lafayette swung open the door, gun pointed at the two men. _

_ John was staring at the man with an angered look in his eye, and the man( Alex? ), looked straight into the barrel without the slightest glint of fear in his eye. _

_ “Is this him?” the man had asked John, almost accusatory. _

_ John turned to Laf with sympathetic eyes, “put the gun down,” he mouthed, and Lafayette listened lowering the gun to his side. The man took it as an opportunity to storm into the room; John followed lingering next to Lafayette as he passed the threshold,“I’m sorry”. _

_ That was the first time he and John had ever gotten into a fight. Before there had been nothing to argue about, it was just the two of them confiding and understanding. They had found sanctuary in each other, but then there was a man at his door. One that John had told Lafayette's most precious secret. _

_ Alex was a friend from his agency, John told him, his best one at that.  He could only keep a secret from him for so long.  Alex was just worried, wanted to see who John was risking his life to be with, he should understand? _

_ Laf didn't he had no friend to share his life with, just John. _

 

**Soft music played as the elevator made its ascension. Finally, the elevator let out a ping. Lafayette stepped, off his shoes making a distinct clicking sound against the granite floor tiles.**

 

_Alex had grown on him. The man was persistent showing up every time John would. Protective was the word John used to describe him, but, eventually, Laf let him in. The way he had let John in, another person who understood, another person who could relate. A duo became a trio._

 

**He searched the hallways and when he determined that it was all clear, he began to look for office 202. The room held his target and the information he needed to bring back to the agency. He stopped in front of a stark white door that had the number 202 plastered on the front.**

 

_ White snow covered the ground as Laf took the manila folder from his superior’s hand; it contained his next mission. He carried it back to his apartment, only opening it when he knew he had privacy. _

_ He opened up the file, and his heart dropped when he saw who his next victim would be. He went numb, and he felt tears threaten to pour over. He slammed the file down and hid it in the night stand. _

_ Alex came over that night; John had been busy completing his own mission. Alex had always been so observant, so curious, and when Lafayette came out of the shower, there was the folder in his hand. _

_ “You're going to kill John?” His voice dripped with disgust. _

_ Laf froze; he hadn't even let himself think about it, let alone process what it all meant. _

_ “I would never,” was what he chose to say back, even though he knew in the back of his mind, how the agency worked. If he didn't complete a mission, he would be marked as a rogue agent. Rogue agents get terminated, and the mission just gets passed along to the next agent. _

_ Alex of all people should know and understand that, but he looked at Lafayette with such judgment.  _

_ There were too many emotions and thoughts racing through Laf’s head to say anything else.  _

_ Alex got up from the bed putting on his clothes and stopped inches from his face.  _

_ “If you kill John, I will kill you,” Alex said steely, calm, and definite before walking out.  _

_ Lafayette sunk to the floor, and let out a sob he needed to forget a ridiculous, childish idea that he could love someone, they could love him, and nothing else mattered. _

 

**He reached for his lock picking kit expecting the door to be locked, but after one twist of the handle, the door opened.**

 

_ It had been a month since either  Lafayette or Alex had seen John.   It was as if he had disappeared into thin air, and every day was excruciating without him.  A piece of Lafayette was gone.  _

_ Alex had stayed, his allegiance now reaching further than just John. They pined for him together, but as the weeks passed Alex’s looks toward Lafayette took a turn. They became guarded and suspicious. _

_ It was late at night when was he woken by the feeling of the cold metal to his temple and the distinct click of the safety being turned off. _

__ _ Lafayette’s breath hitched a little as he opened his eyes slowly. It was a scene both beautiful and terrifying.  Alex hovered over him; Tears pouring down Alex’s face as he placed his finger on the trigger. Laf could feel the fallen tears splashing onto his cheeks.  _

_ “You did it, didn't you?” Alex said, his voice breaking, “you killed him. ” Alex was visibly shaking. _

_ Lafayette could see the pain and hurt in his eyes.  He could easily disarm Alex, but he laid there letting the man press the gun to his head. _

_ “Non, I could never.”  Laf pleaded reaching a hand up to Alex, who jumped at his touch. _

_ "Don't touch me!” He screamed, and he looked at Laf like he was a monster, and it broke Lafayette. They had all done things they weren't proud of but never had they ever judged each other. _

_ “I should kill you, he loved you, I loved you, and you killed him” Alex seethed, through sobs. _

_ Lafayette heard the tap of Alex’s finger against the trigger and shut his eyes, but nothing came. Alex pressed the gun harder against Lafayette’s skull _

_ “If you ever loved either of us, you'll leave France, and you won't look back because god forbid if I ever see you again, I will kill you...There's a special place in hell for people like you,” Alex said letting the gun drop.  _

_ That was the last time he saw Alexander. _

 

**He stepped into the room gun drawn and ready to shoot the mark on sight. What stopped him in his tracks was the distinct bullet hole already in the head of his lifeless mark. He snapped his head to the other side of the room.**

**His eyes went wide. His breath stopped. He froze out of pure shock dropping his weapon as he looked at the man still holding the smoking gun.**

**“John?”**

****

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Bother me anytime on my Tumblr  
> URL: ShooturShot   
> shooturshot.tumblr.com


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